Last Sunday, Malawi’s weather was spectacular. Clear and cool, puffy clouds tracked across the blue African sky. We awoke to the songs of birds in our garden, had coffee and breakfast on our khonde (pronounced “Khan-dee”, a large porch), and grew excited about the coming day. We were taking our housekeeper, Patricia, and her two kids to Game Haven.
Game Haven’s target audience is families, which means I had been infrequently, the last time many years ago. Patrons are upper middle class, half Malawian and half expatriates. The main building holds an expansive restaurant where tables spill out onto the lawn and under the tall trees. The building sits on a rise with views of rolling hills, forests, and tea plantations in the distance. There is a playground with a (surprisingly fun) climbing wall, a very cold but crystal clear swimming pool, and places to spend the night for those so inclined. What makes Game Haven interesting is its animals.
As a private game park, it has small herds of zebra, antelopes (impala, waterbuck, sable, and nyala), wildebeest, and even a solitary giraffe. The animals roam freely. So freely that during lunch a small group of zebra came into the restaurant’s garden to munch on the manicured lawn. They are wild, but obviously habituated to humans. Patricia and her children had never seen any of these animals.
The animals roam freely. So freely that during lunch a small group of zebra came into the restaurant’s garden to munch on the manicured lawn.
Our group arrived at 11:15 a.m., signed up for a game drive, and hit the playground. After exploring every single piece of equipment (twice!), we settled in for a long leisurely lunch. Patricia was initially shy, stating that she and her children were not hungry and did not need to eat. I reframed my question to her from “What would you like for lunch?” to “Would you like chicken or beef for lunch?” and she relented and ordered. Though Game Haven is famous for its cheesecake, we were too full from piles of French fries to order dessert.
At 3 p.m. we departed the reception in our safari vehicle. I have been on many game drives, but I have never come so close to African animals as I did at Game Haven. Zebras are beautiful when walking in the garden at lunch time. They are amazing from 3 feet away. Conversely, sable antelope horns are gorgeous at 30 feet but frightening from one-fifth that distance. We all loved it.
Tired and sunburned (well, I was sunburned), we returned to Blantyre. Everyone received a gift to remember the day. The kids had new stuffed animals and Patricia some animal-themed jewelry. The family thanked us repeatedly before, during, and afterwards. We were, of course, happy to have the resources to allow them to experience the day with us.
Later, though, I felt odd. We were delighted to experience this with Patricia and her children. Their smiles made everyone happy. Somehow, though, the fact that I was feeling good made me feel guilty. If I was giving freely, should I feel happiness in doing so? Shouldn’t a true gift delight only the recipient? Yes, I gave freely and expected nothing in return. But was receiving pleasure from giving Patricia and her children this experience really a form of selfishness?
Today I discussed my thoughts with my work colleagues. They thought I was foolish. Most psychologists agree, saying that giving produces longer term happiness than receiving. Being happy when giving a gift is normal. But, to be honest, I cannot help feeling that it might be better if the gift of a day at Game Haven did not make me quite as happy as it did this past Sunday.
