I consider myself an extrovert. I have always enjoyed social events. I enjoy getting to know people, exploring how their life experiences and world view are different than my own. When I veered my career into global health, I was attracted to the idea of having many friends in the places where I would be working. I assumed they would be natives of those locales. It hasn’t worked out that way.
In Africa, despite my best efforts, the great majority of my friends are expatriates. I have one Malawian friend whom I greatly treasure. We do a lot socially. He is so social that his nickname is “Mr. Blantyre.” I have tried to form friendships with other Malawians, but it hasn’t worked out. Their lives are busy, and it doesn’t feel like many of them enjoy the same sorts of non-work activities that I do. Lucky for me is the social group into which I have landed. Mr. Blantyre is in it, but so are several expatriates.
Last weekend I was invited to Lake Malawi to join seven of these friends. We’re all in the same “bubble” both socially and from a pandemic standpoint. Five of the eight have jobs that have nothing to do with medicine. The other two physicians in the group do not like to talk about work on the weekends. Excellent. When we’re all together, we talk about books, movies, and our lives. Last weekend, group activities included learning how to juggle, a group yoga class, and eating and drinking too much. It was fantastic.
This weekend’s focus, however, was on sailing. One of the eight of us, Brian, hand-built a sailboat several years ago. He bent the wood, pounded in every nail, and constructed the Southern Cross over two years. Several years ago, I’d sailed on Lake Malawi with Brian and his partner, Maggie. On that trip, the winds were calm and the trip was slow. This weekend, we hoped for more cooperative sailing weather.
We were not disappointed. Over 1.5 days we sailed three times, including a beautiful sunset cruise on Saturday evening. On Sunday morning, when the wind was especially strong, we had an All Guys trip. Brian tried to teach me the basics of wind direction and the physics of sailing. He is a very patient teacher. Each time I failed to keep the boat moving in the correct direction he corrected me, explaining how I could improve next time. Unfortunately for Brian, teaching me requires a lot of correction. Sunday evening, the weekend completed, the group returned to Blantyre and Real Life.
Two days later, I decided I wanted to have everyone over for dinner on Friday. For good measure, I invited Lucy and Luca, two other Bubble members, bringing the total to ten. Everyone accepted. Two days ago we gathered around a large dining table, laughed, told stories, talked and enjoyed great food and friends. It all felt very normal.
Right now, this would never happen in the USA. I would not have gone to the Lake nor had anyone over for dinner, much less nine people. There are several reasons for this including community infection and group vaccination rates. In the USA my social bubble is the three people, including me, living in my household. In Malawi, it is these nine people.
Despite pandemic bubbles and vaccination rates, I still could not likely convene nine friends at my house in Washington, DC for dinner with three days’ notice. In DC, there are a great number of competing interests for everyone’s attention and time. Not so here in Blantyre. Here there is no television, Smithsonian, Kennedy Center, or the bazillion other things happening every night in Washington DC. In Blantyre, if I want to have ten people over for dinner on Friday, I can invite them on a Tuesday and usually everyone accepts. If someone has a visitor, they ask and bring them along, even at the last minute. We create our own fun, whether being outside biking and hiking, sailing on Lake Malawi, or gathered around a long dinner table.
I am scheduled to return to the USA in thirteen days. Of course, I’m anxious to see my partner and family. Even though I will be happy nesting in my US home for a few weeks, I admit I will be thinking about my friends in Blantyre and the active, uncomplicated, spontaneous social life awaiting my return.
